


Standing on the Edge (of the Borderline)

by LtTanyaBoone



Series: love ignites in my veins [1]
Category: Pan Am
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2019-04-07 17:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14085762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone
Summary: modern AU in which Kate and Colette find themselves in uncharted waters





	Standing on the Edge (of the Borderline)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story in a modern!AU in which Kate and Colette end up together. I back-dated this to when I originally posted it on my dreamwidth.

Kate pulls her head back and swallows, her eyelids fluttering. She tilts her head slightly and leans in again. Feels the sudden tension in Colette evaporate as a sigh leaves the brunette and their lips brush again.

The redhead slowly raises her hands and settles them on the other woman’s hips, giving a gentle push to steer her back into their shared hotel room. And to her surprise, the French stewardess allows herself to be guided easily. Lets Kate maneuver them into the room and kick the door shut behind them.

Kate feels Colette’s arms wrap around her neck, fingers playing gently with the short hair at the nape of her neck before they reach up and bury themselves in her hair. Pull her face closer as Colette opens her mouth and runs her tongue over Kate’s lips. The redhead lets out a surprised gasp and kisses back, the world around them slipping away.

Her last coherent thought is the question why they didn’t do this a lot sooner.

* * *

Colette lets out a soft sound, almost a mewl, and stretches, her back arching slightly off the bed before she relaxes again. Her dark eyes slowly open and she turns her head, smiling at Kate.

“What time is it?” she asks, her voice still husky with sleep. Kate feels desire coil in the pit of her stomach, but pushes it away, checking her watch instead.

“Shortly past eight local,” she tells the brunette. Colette sighs and closes her eyes again before she stretches again, lifting her arms over her head. Kate catches herself staring and looks away, heat rising to her cheeks.

“Do you mind if I turn up the heat a litte?” the French woman asks as she gets out of bed, shivering slightly. The redhead arches an eyebrow at her, taking in the tank top and shorts Colette wore to bed, as well as the fuzzy winter socks.

“Be my guest,” she finally replies. “Though I think you might actually feel a bit warmer if you put some more appropriate clothes on,” she adds. Colette straightens after turning up the radiator and gives Kate a look.

“I wasn’t aware we were going to Scandinavia,” she reminds her.

“Yet I know for a fact you have an emergency sweater in your carry-on,” Kate teases.

“It looks hideous,” Colette pulls a face and reaches up to run a hand through her hair before she pulls over a chair to sit close to the radiator. Kate lets out a laugh at that and shakes her head.

“So you’d rather be cold than wear it?” she inquires with an arched eyebrow. Colette watches her intently, an expression on her face that Kate can’t quite decipher.

“You know what,” she declares and gets up. Kate watches in fascination as she approaches her, her hips swinging invitingly with every step. “I’ve just remembered something about sharing body heat in cold climates to preserve energy.”

Despite the sudden dryness of her mouth, Kate lets out an amused snort at the words, causing Colette to freeze just as she was leaning in to rest her hands on Kate’s shoulders.

“What?” she asks, her brows twitching in confusion.

“I don’t think your idea of ‘sharing body heat’ would preserve any energy,” Kate tells her. And makes Colette throw her head back in laughter. The brunette shakes her head and leans in for a kiss, before stradling the American.

“You know me too well,” she declares before brushing her lips over Kate’s again, and making the redhead forget any protests as to Colette’s preffered method of sharing body heat.

* * *

“Hey,” Colette greets her, slightly out of breath. Kate stumbles slightly as the other woman pulls her aside, having not anticipated that move.

“Hey,” she replies, watching in bewilderment when Colette tilts her head and reaches up to re-arrange the scarf around Kate’s neck.

“Do you have a spare blouse?” the brunette mumbles, keeping her voice low.

“Yeah, why? Do you need it?” Kate inquires, searching her friend’s uniform for an obvious flaw. They don’t exactly have the same size, but between the four female stewardesses on their crew, Kate’s is probably closest to Colette’s, though perhaps a bit loose, in the chest area.

“No,” Colette shakes her head, a blush coloring her cheeks, “but you have lipstick on yours,” she adds, and Kate feels her eyes widen in shock. “And I know that if you show up with that on the plane, Bridget will put two and two together, and won’t end up with five this time around.”

The redhead lets out a soft groan and shakes her head. The Brit has been infuriatingly observant, these past few weeks. She’s figured out that Colette is seeing someone, and that Kate is, too, most likely. She’s also managed to deduce that whoever that is, she knows the person. Which, granted, the overlap in their circle of friends and acquaintances is rather significant, given that they work for the same airline, but Bridget also knows Kate well enough to know that, unless whoever she’s seeing is a close friend, she would have already told her. Probably.

“How bad?” Kate asks and Colette’s eyes dart to the collar of her blouse before she gives a shake of her head, telling her she’s not going to pass inspection, even with the way Colette arranged her scarf.

“Sorry,” the French stewardess apologizes. “I’ll be more mindful next time,” she adds, and for some weird reason, those words manage to make Kate feel a lot better about this whole ordeal.

* * *

The sound of the fountain’s water moving is kind of relaxing. Kate crosses her legs and closes her eyes in an attempt to stop her spinning thoughts.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Her eyes open to find Colette standing off to the side, hesitating.

“Do you mind if I...” she asks and motions towards the seat next to Kate’s. The redhead slowly shakes her head and shifts, adjusting her posture on the fountain’s edge. Colette walks over and sits down on the marble, a soft sigh leaving her.

“Kate-”

“Look-”

They share a surprised look before giggling softly, though Kate finds herself sobering quickly.

“I didn’t mean to, hurt you,” Colette says after a moment, her voice soft, devoid of any amusement. A look at her tells Kate she’s sincere. It doesn’t mean, however, that despite not intending to do it, she hasn’t hurt Kate. She has, pretty badly, actually. Not that she’d ever truly admit to that, she has some pride left, after all.

“I know,” Kate allows and shakes her head. Looks away to study the milling tourists for a couple of moments. “I miss you,” she whispers and clenches her eyes shut at the sudden urge to reach out and pull Colette against her. She does miss her, misses her like crazy. Not just the kisses, and the late nights spent with each other. She misses Colette, her best friend. She misses their long conversations and their jokes and the shared laughs. It’s gotten all complicated, all so confusing. If she’d known beforehand that this would be the result... Kate’s not so sure she still would’ve kissed the other woman all those weeks ago.

Colette shifts a little and Kate can feel the warmth of her skin as she places her hand next to hers, though not touching her.

“I miss you, too,” she responds and lets out a soft sigh. “I’m sorry,” she adds with a shake of her head and gets up. Kate watches her slowly walk away and wonders for the first time if that is how actual heartbreak feels like.

* * *

She feels Bridget’s eyes on her and makes a conscious effort to keep her hand from shaking as Kate raises the glass of Guiness to her lips to take a sip.

She’s well aware of the Brit knowing everything that’s transpired between Colette and her. Probably in detail. She should have known this was going to happen, given that two Europeans are incredibly close. She just hadn’t really considered that there’d be a reason for it, that somehow, her friendship with Colette meant they’d be able to make a relationship between them work.

The thing is, it’s not been a relationship. It was sex, plain and simple. Two consenting adults deciding to seek some much needed relief, to scratch each other’s itches. Kate doesn’t regret that. It was good sex, bordering on fantastic. Colette and her, they know each other so well, can read each other so easily, it nicely translated to their bedroom (or bathroom, or beach, or... yeah) activities.

She should have realized sooner that she’s not build for this sort of thing. At least not with women. Kate had figured that her disinterest in men after reluctantly having sex with them translated to women, but she’d been seriously wrong with that assumption. Realizing that the complete lack of attraction towards any person she reads as male actually meant she wasn’t heterosexual should have told her as much. But she’d been wrestling with the realization that she’s gay so much that the repercussions of her blatant attraction hadn’t occurred to her, and now she’s paying the price for that.

Pays it by looking over to the dartboard to see Colette’s hand guided by one of their passengers. Something with an R, Kate thinks, Richard, or Roy, or Ronald... she doesn’t really care. What she does care about, what is slowly but surely pissing her off, is the blatant and clumsy way he keeps flirting with Colette, only to have the brunette actually play along. Kate used to think the French woman had some standards, and suddenly finds herself wondering what that says about the fact that they’ve just ended an affair with each other.

* * *

“I’m relieving you,” Bridget hisses and Kate blinks in surprise at the harsh tone. Looks up in time to see Colette stare at their purser before giving a short shake of her head.

“I’m fine-”

“Unless you want me to write you up, you will get your ass back to economy right now,” Bridget interrupts her. The redhead finds herself gaping at the two women. Colette squares her shoulders and thrusts the wad of napkins in her hand at Bridget before stalking down the aisle to take her new assignment. Bridget takes a deep breath and gives a slight shake of her head before turning. And finding Kate staring at her.

“Don’t try my patience,” Bridget mutters as she pushes past her and finds the passenger Colette managed to shower in red wine a couple of minutes ago to apologize profoundly.

It takes another two hours and Bridget pulling Kate aside to realize what actually transpired, between the French stewardess and the German passenger. The redhead finds herself blinking, completely dumbfounded. She hadn’t realized that the passenger had been flirting with her. She’d just figured she was being nice, and has responded the way the airline had taught her to, with a wide smile and equally charming words. She would have done to the same to any male passenger, had done so many times in the past, and none of those times had ever brought out any jealousy in Colette whatsoever.

But that had been before. Before the kisses, and the nights shared with each other. Before Kate admitting that she’s attracted to women. Before realizing she’s attracted to Colette, and that the attraction had been mutual.

She doesn’t think Colette did it on purpose. Not really. But something the passenger had said must have made her see red. She’s not usually the kind of woman to get petty revenge. So whatever it had been, it really must have struck a nerve.

At least the passenger doesn’t realize the reason for her ruined skirt. And Kate finds herself apologizing to her as well, surprised by how easy it is, talking to her. She knows what the other woman is doing, batting her eyes at her, but a part of her thinks it’s the least she can do. So she agrees to meet up for drinks during their layover in Munich. And part of her is actually looking forward to it.

* * *

She hesitates, her fingers fiddling with the lock on the bathroom door, before she lets her hand fall away, leaving the door unlocked. Kate swallows and shakes her head before she turns and starts stripping out of her uniform.

It’s been a long flight. A long week, actually, and she is really happy about the upgrade the airline has provided them with on this layover. She’s always liked these showers with their massage jets.

With a soft groan, she stretches and reaches up to remove the pins from her hair before shaking it out. A chuckle leaves her at the sight of her reflection and the way her hair sticks up every which way, the result of twelve hours spent pinned up with more hairspray than is probably healthy applied to make it stay in place.

Kate turns on the shower and strips out of her underwear, leaving it lying on the floor. She grabs her loofah, shampoo and shower gel, testing the temperature of the water before stepping under the spray, a happy sigh escaping her as she begins to relax.

She lets her head fall forward and turns, fumbling with the faucets. The jets turn on and hit her back and she lets out a hiss before her body relaxes under the welcome pressure.

The soft touch against her neck makes her jump in surprise, though she relaxes quickly. She hadn’t heard her enter over the sound of the shower, Colette’s presence surprised her.

The brunette kisses her neck and steps up to wrap her arms around Kate from behind, pressing against her back. The redhead allows a sigh to escape her and turns her head to catch Colette’s lips in a soft kiss. This is nice, she thinks, and slowly turns around to face the other woman. Reaches up to gently remove the hair tie from Colette’s hair, trailing her nails over her scalp in a careful caress. Watches as the brunette’s eyes flutter close, a blissful expression settling on her face. Kate reaches back and grabs the shampoo with one hand, pouring some on the crown of Colette’s head before she begins to work it in with circular massaging motions.

They probably spend way too much time under the spray. By the end of the shower almost two hours have passed, and Kate has trouble staying upright. She’s completely spent. Colette knows just how to touch her, how to toe the line between arousal and relaxation. The redhead didn’t even realize she was approaching orgasm until seconds before it hit her, causing Colette to kiss her heatedly to stifle the resulting cry of pleasure.

She grabs one of the hotel towels and sets out to pat Colette’s skin dry, following the cloth with her mouth, trailing kisses down the other woman’s body. Colette lets out a soft sigh as her eyes flutter closed and she reaches out to brace herself against the marble counter as Kate kneels down in front of her.

She’s never gone down on another woman before. Never wanted to, but Colette’s flushed body is so gorgeous, so inviting, it feels so natural to her to trails kisses down her body until she reaches her center and sets to work, until she has Colette squirming against her, a hand tangled in Kate’s wet hair as soft moans of pleasure leave the brunette.

* * *

There’s a fine line they try to toe, with each other. In order to pull the charred remains of their friendship from the wreckage of another failed attempt at making this work between them.

Strangely enough, it was Kate who ended it, this time around. Who found that, while spending time with her was great, and having sex with her was awesome, there was something missing in her connection with Colette, something that prevented her from actually investing any feelings in what was going on between them.

They don’t talk about their current affairs or relationships. Just let each other know in some way that they’re seeing someone, to prevent awkward encounters and crossing a line that hadn’t used to be there.

It’s so weird, how easy it can be, between them. How much fun watching a movie with Colette can be, the two of them curled up around each other on one of their couches, giggling softly at cheesy lines of dialogue. How relaxing it is when they cook together, enjoying each other’s company and talking about random things. Like how starfish eat, or why on earth voter suppression is a thing. How comfortable falling asleep on Colette’s couch is, with the brunette’s fingers running through her hair and down her back, and how quickly Colette drifts off cuddled up to Kate in a hotel bed after a stressful flight as the redhead holds her close and hums a soft melody under her breath.

And so predictable, how they keep being drawn to each other. Share heated kisses in Icelandic nightclubs, and pull at each other’s clothes in Czech bathrooms and trail their hands down each other’s bodies in hotel rooms all over the world before pulling back with an apology on their lips that should be aimed at the person they are actually currently seeing. Or fail to stop and end up caught in a mess of emotions neither one of them is really willing to examine too closely, given their previous track record with each other.

* * *

Her hands are shaking after a turbulent flight with a particularly rough landing as she fills out the form, her writing almost unreadable. She closes her eyes and takes a slow breath, and another, and shakes her head as she places the clipboard down.

On her way to the break room, she passes Colette. Grabs her hand and pulls her along wordlessly. Barely manages to wait until the door is closed before she launches herself at her. She knocks Colette’s hat off as she hugs her close, pushes her body up as close as it will go. The brunette takes a stumbling step back, her back hitting the door, a soft hiss of pain escaping her before Kate’s lips are on her. There’s a fraction of a second in which Colette tenses and Kate thinks she’s just made a huge mistake, but then the French woman is kissing back, her hands clutching at Kate’s uniform in an attempt to get her closer, closer than this, closer than the layers of clothing between them will allow.

“Je t’aime,” Colette husks between kisses and this time, Kate freezes, taken by surprise at the confession. She’s never said it, before. Neither one of them ever said anything coming close to this. The confession hangs between them, heavy in the charged atmosphere. Colette’s dark eyes are wide and soft, shining with sudden anxiousness, and the love she’s just professed. How did Kate not see this sooner? Didn’t realize before this moment that this was what was holding them back at the same time it kept forcing them together.

“I love you, too,” she replies and captures Colette’s lips again. Less urgent now, because she knows. She knows now what this means, to Colette, and that the other woman is aware of what it means to Kate, too.

Colette lets out a shuddering breath and trembles against her, tremors running through her body. She reaches up and cradles Kate’s face, showers it in soft kisses before resting her forehead against the redhead’s. Kate can feel Colette’s heart race in her chest as her own blood pounds in her ears. It hurts, but in a good way. It feels like an end, and that is horrible, but at the same time, there’s also the soft promise of a new beginning in this. A lingering sense of hope, that maybe, just maybe, they’ll get it right this time around.

Perhaps the tenth time is the charm, Kate thinks and rubs her nose against Colette’s, a relieved sigh escaping her before she brushes her lips over the other woman’s again.

_fin_


End file.
